That moment when you really understand the dictum

"Sumpah jalan ni tak mudah, memang akan ada banyak halangan" 

Current anthem, [57:4]

So, what's next?

The ink has dried and the pen has been lifted,
Tried the best and now, Tawakallah.
Exam is over, so what do I do next?

"So, lepas suasana exam, apa yang kita selalu buat? Tanya diri sendiri, still ada solat hajat, tahajud, sujud lama-lama masa solat? atau kita rasa macam nak rehat, "enjoy la sekejap, exam baru habis kot". Cuba fikir balik, takkan kita nak cari Tuhan masa kita susah je?"
                                                       
It's like i've been slapped with these words

When it's approaching exam week, we increase our deeds tremendously, but soon after we're done with all of our exams, somehow or rather, we stop doing all these things and instead we say, 'chill la, esok pon boleh buat ni', but lil did we know, we have the tendency to get lazier day by day, and the moment you wanna fix it, it gets harder as you've already lost the momentum. The next time you realise you are doing all these voluntary deeds again is when its approaching the result day, and the cycle repeats.. 

I think maybe its the feeling that we don't 'need Him' in our typical daily life as bad as we need Him during our exam seasons. Or maybe because we've been given so much that we forgot that every single thing that we have now is ordained by Him, even the things that we have never asked for. 

If you read this post and didn't find anything familiar, then, alhamdulillah, hoping to be like you one day!! :)
But if you think you're in the same shoes as me, let's make a difference this time, shall we?

So, what should we do next?
Istiqamah.

We can win this, so keep on fighting, warriors.

Of nephews and nieces

5th April 2008, my first nephew was born and i officially became an aunt. It's a whole new world for me. Although it was quite exciting to have a nephew, i still can recall the hard process of adjusting myself with the new environment. After all, it's a good learning process for me, because i think that was actually the turning point in my life that made me learned many new things. Apart from the typical babysitting stuffs (like burping a newborn baby and watching 10 episodes of upin ipin just to put them to sleep), i actually wanna share life values that i find vital in sustaining a happy family. 

• love is nothing without sacrifices 
• nothing can beat the love of a mom towards her children
• at times, the children can be the only reason why the parents are still strong, fighting and working every day, to make sure everything is perfectly fine. so we need to be strong for them too! support them and most importantly, make endless du'a 
• sometimes you just have to bear with the situations in life because at the end of the day, you'll be surprise on how the incidents could benefit us. and this is what we call 'tough love'. 
• dad is the best superhero one could get
• people can reallllyyyyy change after marriage and somehow i'm impressed by this. maybe it's the wish to be the best version of himself/herself 
• and of course, the importance of finding a good spouse, because as what i observe, marriage is all about understanding and compromising with someone who is flawed, just like us. i believe a true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other. 
• "so what's the first thing you think about after you delivered the baby?" "i could only think of my mom. i wanna thank her, for everything."

and for my nieces and nephews, thanks a lot! your presence has indirectly helped me to change my perspective towards this life and im really glad i have you guys :) 

"Awak kena ingat, kita memang akan sentiasa diuji, terutama pada titik kelemahan kita, be it our friends, family, surrounding or studies"

It got me thinking, maybe... that is the reason i am here now. 

Realisation

Spending time with my 'cute little sisters' every week has taught me a lot.
I learned that parents play a very crucial role in educating their children. And as Muslims, it is their main responsibility to expose and familiarise them to all kind of  obligations in Islam since they were small. A failure to do so will indeed leave a severe impact, making it harder for their daughters and sons as they've to struggle in order to learn the basics in the future.

The sessions with them also urged me to appreciate all those things that we always take for granted.  Have we ever thanked our parents for teaching us how to pray since we were small and send us to sekolah agama to learn how to recite and memorise al Quran? Honestly i think i've never been really grateful for getting all of these oppurtunities. Maybe it seems unimportant to us, or maybe we see it as a typical thing that malay families do, thus we tend to ignore the significance of it. But really, if we pay more attention to the society, they are actually people who havent got the chance like we did, there are people who are struggling to start learning about the obligations in Islam and they need our help, seriously.

It is a wake up call for us.

We need to pay more attention.
Don't dismiss anyone, anything.

Truth

"Sadly we have turned religion into mere mockery and worthless debates and fancy quotes without changing ourselves and bettering our relationship with our lord and his creations. Sadly we have polluted pure teachings with our disgusting behaviours"

It's a constant struggle

sometimes finding the right distance between people is a tough command
too close; they'll overwhelm you
too far; they'll abandon you

facade?

Last week i learned that not all happy-go-lucky people are genuinely happy. they might be putting up a front so others won't be so worried about them. it's easier that way anyway. most of the times,  we don't really need to be told of the situation to figure out what's happening. we just have to be patient enough to sit back and the story will unveil itself. but yeap, living a fast pace life, we barely have time for that. we barely have time to be there for our friends when they need us the most.

And sometimes, we are there for our friends. we hear their stories, but we aren't really listening. we are so busy judging the story instead of giving them your full attention.

I admit, this is my first time having a friend that who's really really really in need of others' supports. and when i really think about it, i'm pretty sure i wouldn't survive if i were in her shoes. thus it's true that He will not test us beyond that we can bear. Because if our Lord gave us an opportunity to gather and swap our problems with our friends, i'm sure none of us dare to do it. because somehow, our problems suit us the most. i know it sounds weird, but that's the truth. For example, some individuals are made to live in poverty to test their patience while some are made to live in abundant wealth to test their thankfulness and morality. But, in the end, the rich person and the person living in crushing poverty live the best lives for themselves and for the Hereafter. 

And as for me, living in a boarding school (i mean college) with new circles of friends for around 6 months, i learned a lot. Some people have it worse than us. They really do and thus urged me to be a more grateful person.

I always believe this concept of life where we should learn and study other people's stories. i mean like, if you have seen the consequences of some events, and it's obviously not a good one, why would you want to repeat those errors? if only we can see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest action, this world would be a better place i guess? but dear, that's impossible. the most we can do is consider the impact of our actions, either it's good or bad.

"Setiap lewat suka duka kisah hidupmu.
Terselit bahagian kasih sayang Tuhan.
Mungkin, kau hanya perlu lebih percaya."