“Sayang, jangan tutup mata lagi, tengok lampu atas ni dulu”, said the doctor as I closed my eyes, while pointing at the blinding lights above me. I wanted to close my eyes, eager to escape the reality that was too scary for me to handle (and yes, the doctor called me sayang because she’s so sweet)
Nervous? Yes. Overwhelmed? Most certainly.
All the doctors and nurses in the operation theathre gathered around me to recite prayers before starting the procedure. Such a cool practice, i thought. At that time, I was using every ounce of strength left to hold my tears (i was touched by the prayers too!).
Well, this is the moment Fatimah, you only have Allah to take care of you, حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل
“Fatimah, saya masukkan ubat sekarang, pedih sikit tapi tahan ok, kamu mengucap dan selawat sampai tertidur ya?”, explained the anaesthetist. I just did as instructed. I could feel a gush of warm liquid entering my left arm through IV. I was asleep seconds after they injected the anaesthetic drugs (I'm not really sure what it is called 😬)
After God knows how long, I opened my eyes and I heard chatters around me but everything was pretty much a blur. The first sentence that i comprehend was “Nurse, patient nak muntah! Ambik bekas”, only to realise that the “patient” was actually me. *facepalm*
After I gained my consciousness, I vomitted a total of 8 times and the energy remained in my body was from the IV drip.
The doctor explained that maybe my body isn’t responding well to the after effect of the anaesthetic gas and drugs. I’ve never felt any weaker in my entire life. Alhamdulillah, after some medication, my body responded well and I can slowly drink and eat as usual 😭
Eating and drinking have been so routined that I fail to see it as a huge blessing prior to this incident.
Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah, with His grace and mercy, I was recovering well the next day. If I were given the choice, I wouldn’t want to repeat any of this experience in my life, but I know I can only pray and indeed, Allah knows best for me.
This little note is written for me to always remember this moment, to always appreciate the health that I’ve been blessed with. It’s an amanah so don’t take it for granted, I have to eat healthily and exercise regularly.
Allah’s wills prevail over anything and everything, so always ask from Him. Allah will always be there for you even during the scariest of times.
To Mama and others who've been with me, no amount of thank-yous would be enough to repay your endless support, du'a and for just being there with me throughout this journey. May Allah reward you deservingly.
Moga pada hari-hari yang mendatang, aku lebih bijak menggunakan nikmat kesihatan dan kesempatan waktu yang dititip olehMu.
Dan moga aku sentiasa diberikan ilham untuk mensyukuri nikmat yang telah diberikan buatku, insyaAllah.
Dan moga aku sentiasa diberikan ilham untuk mensyukuri nikmat yang telah diberikan buatku, insyaAllah.
Ramadan Kareem 💓
